You're a Ghost to Me
by Nikki Pond
Summary: Clara is having a hard time dealing with the newly-regenerated Doctor, and missing her bow-tie loving Doctor. How could she move on from him? That's when she saw his unexpected last face again, with his past. To Clara, they're all ghost to her.


**You're a Ghost To Me**

**Summary:** Clara is having a hard time dealing with the newly-regenerated Doctor, and missing her bow-tie loving Doctor. How could she move on from him? That's when she saw his unexpected last face again, with his past. To Clara, they're all ghost to her.

**Author's Note:** I sort of bet that Clara has a difficult time with the new Doctor and it will take a couple of adventures to prove to her that he's still the Doctor. But it will take a couple of saving lives to prove to her that he's _her_ Doctor. I can't blame Clara for having much difficulty, I'm sort of having the same thing. It's hard to move on from _your_ Doctor, but you have to open your eyes to see that he's _still_ the Doctor. I'm a bit curious to watch Series 8 which will release this year, and I wonder what is the 12th Doctor like. I will be also making a 12 and OC fanfic for my fanfic series 'When You Wake Up' – when Juliet encounters the newly-regenerated 12th Doctor, how will that play?

* * *

Clara was looking at the precious bow tie in her hand.

This one belonged to the Doctor. Her Doctor. Not that Scottish Doctor, but her goofy loving Doctor. She had picked it up after the Doctor regenerated. It felt like she needed to hold it. Because this was her last memory of him. A reminder of him.

She had left the newly-regenerated Doctor, and told him that she needed some time. Lots of time to think of it. It was too much for her. After the battle, trenzalore, being sent away twice, and the new him. It was too much.

She cried. Cried for her loving Doctor, who was now gone. Sure the Doctor was still there, but not _her_ Doctor.

"Clara?"

That voice. She recognized that voice anywhere. Looking up, her jaw dropped when she saw the Doctor in front of her, _her_ Doctor, her goofy alien was there. He was staring at her with a concern look on his face.

"D-Doctor?" Her voice squeaked a bit.

He smiled, that smile that can make your heart soar and filled with warmth.

"H-how are you here?" she asked as she placed a hand on his cheek.

"I'm only a bit of his consciousness," the Doctor replied, with a hint of…sadness. "Or should I say only a bit of this me."

"I don't understand," she shook her head.

"No you don't," The Doctor smiled warmly as he pulled her to his chest, as he listened to her breathing while she listened to his two hearts beating. "Clara. My Impossible girl." He kissed her head. "How could I?"

Clara then sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" she cried, feeling guilty about his regeneration. "I'm sorry…I should have save you but then your new you…"

"Clara," The Doctor cupped her face, with a sincere smile. "Whatever I become, no matter how much I change and how I act. I will always remember when the Doctor was me, and I will always remember I am the Doctor, no matter who I regenerated into."

_I will always remember when the Doctor was me…_

That voice. She remembered what he said before he regenerated.

_We all change…when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's OK, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be…_

A single tear dropped from her, bowing her head.

_I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me…_

And those words nearly killed her because those were her Doctor's last words.

"Y-you don't need me anymore." She whispered.

"No," he shook his head. "That will never change. I will _always_ need you Clara, my impossible girl."

"Please don't leave me." She pleaded.

"Of course not," He glanced out the window and could see the TARDIS parked outside. "Because _he's_ there, right inside the TARDIS."

Clara glanced for a second before shaking her head, "B-but he's…"

"Sh," he shushed her gently. "It's okay. He's still me, just…" he scratched his head. "Under regeneration process, taking some time to get the cells all fixed." Too be honest, he wasn't sure what he looked like next. He was only a bit of his eleventh incarnation's consciousness from the time tunnel when Clara entered to his time stream.

"But- but…"

"Hey. He needs you. That won't change."

"I don't want you to go," Clara whispered, listening to his hearts beat, tears streaming down her face.

"Nobody does," he slowly stood up which made Clara clutched to him tighter, really not wanting him to leave her alone.

"Please don't leave me."

"Oh Clara." He sighed as he kissed her forehead like this was the last time he'll ever give her one, "I'm only just a ghost. A ghost to you."

Clara's heart twisted painfully at her words.

_We're all ghost to you…_

She felt guilty of her own words. Because the reason why she told him that was because she thought that the Doctor will live forever, but she was wrong. Her Doctor was death. His body wasn't buried but…changed. And now the Doctor in front of her, he was just a ghost to her. Because he's dead.

"Goodbye my impossible girl," the Doctor whispered, slowly letting go of her. "Run you impossible girl, and remember me."

Then he faded completely in front of her eyes.

She cried and cried. Wondering how she was going to move on? She knew what will come to her.

She had to let go of her Doctor.

But how?

Then she heard a crowd cheering. She looked up and saw a football field. Apparently the Doctor landed somewhere in 2010, and some kind of park. She only told the Doctor that she needed some fresh air.

"Hey?"

Clara turned her heard and her jaw dropped when she saw her Doctor in front of her, but he wasn't wearing his bowtie or coat or anything. He was wearing that football uniform, his hair looked messy than before. But when she looked into his eyes, she realized that those eyes were so young. Too young.

She realized that this Doctor wasn't a ghost. But really him. Just a younger version of him. And probably the one who hadn't met her yet.

"Are you okay?" He asked in concern as he took a seat next to her, "You're crying." He stated the obvious. He and his team just won the football match and he couldn't help it when he saw a brunette woman crying.

"My friend-he…" Clara began.

The Doctor nodded, letting her continue.

"He's gone." She finished.

"Dead?" he swallowed.

"Not really…" she shook her head. "Just gone. And I'll never see him again." Okay, maybe she's already seeing him now but she knew that would be her last chance to see him. "My friend, he…changed. So different, and I don't think I could be with him."

The Doctor sighed, not sure what to say. "I'm sure your friend needs you right now."

"What?"

"He may have change, but he didn't hurt you or anything, right?"

"No." She shook her head. The new him didn't hurt her physically or anything. But he sort of hurt her feelings about the regenerating thing.

"If he changed, he would have hurt you right?"

"No."

The Doctor took a moment to study her. "You're scared of him." He stated. She nodded, seeing no point in hiding that. "Well…I'm sure he is more scared than you are."

"What?" her eyes widened at that thought. She didn't really thought of that.

"I could imagine your friend, whoever he is, needs your right now."

Clara could imagine the Doctor's pleading look on her face before she left the TARDIS. Hoping that she would still stay with him even though he regenerated. She could imagine the incredible sadness and hoping that he wouldn't be alone. He needed company. He needed his impossible girl. Oh god, the Doctor needed his impossible girl. And he needed her more than ever right now. How could she abandon him.

Without thinking, she threw her arms around the Doctor, knowing that this was the last one she'll get in this body. The Doctor looked shocked, his hands in the air, unfamiliar but then embrace her with that familiar hug Clara was familiar. Oh Doctor, she thought. Soon, he will meet her and they'll have all the adventures that will come to him one day.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, letting him go. Not just letting go of his hand, but letting _him_ _go_. It was time to move on. "Goodbye Doctor." And then she rushed back to where the TARDIS was parked, leaving the younger Doctor looking confused and wondering how did the woman knew him? He didn't even say it.

Clara opened the doors and saw the Doctor, the one with a Scottish accent.

"Clara?" he asked, looking a bit hopeful and confused.

But Clara just threw her arms around him, "My Doctor…" she whispered.

_Her bowtie Doctor was just a ghost to her…_

* * *

**Author's Note: **Not the best one I could come up with. And I hope you like Eleven's interaction with Clara. In his timeline, he's in the episode 'The Lodger'. I sort of wanted him to convince her. I just realized this is my first time writing 12th fanfic, though not the first time I wrote the 12th Doctor since I wrote one last year. Hope to see what 12 is like this year ;) I sort of need myself to convince that he's still the Doctor.


End file.
